Ukungathembeki komyeni wakhe: kuwufanelekile ukuthethelela, indlela yokuphila? Iseluleko sengqondo

Ukukhaphela ozithandayo - buhlungu elimazayo noma yimuphi owesifazane. Ezweni yesibili okuxovekile futhi ugcwale ngesigqabo esimnyama. Owesifazane elekhanda ihlanganisa lebanga elisha imizwelo: ubuhlungu, nokufutheka, intukuthelo, ukudumazeka. Kuleli zinga, kalula "breaking eziningi izinkuni," futhi wenza iphutha elibi kakhulu. Kodwa ake ume, donsa ngokwakho ndawonye futhi ubone ukuthi ungayiphendula yini ukuthethelela ukukhashelwa?

"A Sound Okuduma!"

Wonke umuntu wesifazane uyakwazi ukungathembeki komyeni wakhe ngendlela yakhe. Sekuyisikhathi eside Abanye abantu okusolwa ethembekileyo zonke izono futhi ekugcineni bathola ubufakazi obuqand 'umbuso. Okunye Thola zonke sibonga i-SMS okungahleliwe, futhi izwi wesithathu ukukhashelwa kuba neze. Kunoma yikuphi, lokhu ukuqaphela - ekucindezelayo enkulu abesifazane ukuba sibhekane ngokuphumelelayo lapho akunakwenzeka njalo.

Kwangemva Kwenhlekelele isifo sokuphazamiseka kwengqondo

Esikalini kusukela ku ukucindezeleka Holmes Ray ukukopela okulingana ukushonelwa umngane womshado. Kuyinto mizwelo nasekhulwini abesifazane ukukhohliswa. Ngaphambi sibuyisela ikhono ukucabanga ngokuhluzekile futhi enze izinqumo ezingcono, kumele zidlule izigaba ezinhlanu ukwamukela isimo:

1. Shock. Kulesi sigaba, lo wesifazane ibonakala ukuthi konke okwenzekile kuye, kungcono eqanjiwe kothile eyinqaba, futhi ngisho nobufakazi eqondile zokungethembeki Awukwazi ukwenza balo bakholelwa ukuwakhaphela umyeni wakhe.
2. Ukubhekana. Kulesi sigaba, abesifazane ukwenza amaphutha amaningi. Baqala ukwenza okuningi yezenzo engqubuzanayo ethembeni ukubuyela zonke "njengoba kwakunjalo ngaphambili."
3. Ulaka. Ulaka kubangelwa ukukhashelwa komyeni wakhe, kumelwe nakanjani ube okhiqizwayo. Kuleli qophelo, uqale amahlazo ezinomsindo ukushayisa izitsha nokumangalelwa mutual. Kwakuphakathi nalesi sikhathi lapho owesifazane ukukhohliswa zonke izenzo zakhe wathi: "Wena baye bangathembeka kwami ubuhlungu kimi!".
4. Ukudabuka. Lesi sigaba libhekene izinkumbulo eside futhi okubuhlungu esidlule ujabule, ngaphambi obhekwe imbangi. Owesifazane uba inert isikhathi eside kokubukeza izithombe kanye nokuzwelana izindaba nabangani mayelana injabulo yabo ephathelene nemishado.
5. Reconciliation. Owesifazane washiya isikhundla sakhe kuleso simo, futhi kwaqala kokuya imicabango wokuqala mayelana nokuthi ukuthethelela ukukhashelwa umyeni wakhe. Uqala nesisindo ngokucophelela ngobuhle nangobubi bawo, ukuzama ngandlela-thile ukuze uhlele ukuphila kwabo kwesikhathi esizayo. Kuyinto kulesigaba kungenzeka ukuqala izingxoxo nomyeni wakhe bese uzama ukwakha impilo ndawonye.

isikhathi esingakanani kanti isifo sokuphazamiseka kwengqondo ukucindezeleka kwangemva kwenhlekelele?

zokusebenza kwengqondo Professional belulekwa ukuthi akufanele ngithathe izinqumo ezinkulu, kuze zonke izigaba ezinhlanu. Wonke umuntu wesifazane bona kudonse izinkathi ezahlukene isikhathi. It incike yobudala, imfundo kanye nesimo kwezenhlalo ladies. Ngokwesilinganiso, indlela kusuka "ukushaqeka" ukuze "nokubuyisana" kuthatha cishe izinyanga ezintathu, okuyinto engcono wachitha kude umyeni ongathembekile. izingxabano ezingadingekile futhi amahlazo kuyonezela ngakho akuyona isimo lula. Akubalulekile kuyiwe izinguquko ezinkulu ekuphileni, eqondiswa imizwa kanye nezikhalo.

Uthando futhi nginomuzwa wokuthi kudlalwa ngami: ukubukeka njengabesifazane

Nasengqondweni, yowesifazane kunzima kakhulu ukuyiqonda imbangela ukungathembeki yena ingamamitha kwalasha umphefumulo efuna ngoba imbangela. Kule nqubo, kungenza eziningi amaphutha, okuyinto kwamlimaza kakhulu ukuzethemba kanye ukuphila esikhathini esizayo. Ngakho, kwenzekani kowesifazane owazi mayelana ukukhashelwa kumyeni wakhe:

1. Owesifazane mandla angahlulwa yilutho ivame iso okungenani eyodwa ukubona abaphikisi. Ukuze wenze lokhu akufanele ngaphansi kwanoma iyiphi ibhaxa wena. Ake usibone ngeso lengqondo esincintisana kuyonezela isimo ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo futhi bephelelwe ithemba, lapho zifakwa umfazi ukukhohliswa. Ake ucabange ngako, uma abaphikisi kuyoba abasebasha, enhle kakhulu futhi okuphumelela kakhudlwana, buhlungu ukuzethemba kwakho kuyimbangela? Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zithi umfanekiso imbangi cishe sihleli e ukwazi yowesifazane, futhi uqala ukuba sihlakulele nebubi (obala noma ngengqondo), okubangela self isihawu ngumuntu womshado nabangane. Uyoze kudingeka izinyanga eziningi umsebenzi ngokucophelela wena ukuphuma kulesi sifundazwe. Cishe, uzodinga usizo umhlaziyi okhokhelwayo.
2. Owesifazane ngamanga yena konke okwenzeka. Ngokuvamile, ukusabela ngaleyo ndlela kwenzeka kwabesifazane ngomhlatshelo psycho. unkosikazi ukukhohliswa sifuna ukulungisa isimo futhi ukuba abe izikhathi eziningi ungcono esincintisana. It extinguishes a ukuthukuthelela ukukhashelwa, futhi oyenza isebenze umsebenzi kamama, inkosikazi kanye lover, nibakhulisa cishe ekupheleleni. Ngeshwa, le ndlela ngeke ukwazi ukusiza owesifazane ukuze usinde ukukhashelwa umyeni wakhe, futhi ngemva kwesikhashana kuziwa esigabeni ngobudlova. Ezimweni ezinzima ngokukhethekile, ukucindezelwa of intukuthelo kungaholela abesifazane akakhohliswanga emtholampilo we neurosis, ukuvela ezinye izifo nezifo zengqondo sokucasuka kaningi, ezifana nama-ulcer nomdlavuza.
3. Isilinganiso umuntu ngokomzwelo zonke ubuhlungu bakhe zingena out on indoda. Babona nje umsunguli ukukhashelwa iphutha futhi ukukhumbuza kakhulu kuye ngalokho okwenzekile. Ngeshwa, owesifazane akakwazi ukucabanga ngendlela ehluzekile e Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, futhi ukuziphatha kwakhe odlulela umyeni wakhe. Ngemva kwesikhashana, lapho imizwelo abohle, owesifazane Ungaqonda ukuthi umndeni lulahlekile kakade futhi le ndoda yenza isinqumo sokugcina by Umphikisi.

Kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi yimuphi owesifazane yokusabela kuya ukukhashelwa umyeni wakhe - it is a umzamo engokwemvelo ukusinda isimo. Into esemqoka ukuthi owesifazane avunyelwe yena ukuxosha imizwelo engafanele futhi ikhanda nizithibe weza ukuxazulula inkinga. Uma phakathi nezinyanga eziyisithupha, ngeke babhekane ngokuphumelelayo nemizwelo yabo futhi ukukhashelwa umyeni wakhe namanje kwenza intukuthelo yakhe zingalawuleki, kubalulekile ukubona onguchwepheshe, oyovela kuya esigabeni "nokubuyisana" icala lokuvukela umbuso.

Wakwenzelani ukushintsha?

A indima enkulu ekuxazululeni izinkinga akhashelwa kudlalwa nokuqonda okucacile mshini zokungethembeki besilisa. Kwathi masinyane owesifazane, uthando nokukhaphela - kuba izinto ngokuphelele engahambelani. Inkosikazi enothando uyohlale ethembekile ukuba indoda yami niwayise nawo wonke amaphutha. psyche zabesilisa is ngokufanako, futhi namanje imbangela sokungathembeki singadala ukukhonza ezahlukahlukene.

• ukwenqatshwa syndrome. Isikhathi esining impela, amadoda ukuzwa ekuqaleni kuka ebuntwaneni kuwukubonakaliswa ukungathandi kwabakhulelwe. Umama njalo unganelisekile indodana yakhe, akusho amnake, kukushiya isikhathi eside. Ukuze ukuziphatha okufana elinesimo uhlobo "jika" - namuhla efana nendodana, futhi zonke wayevunyelwa, futhi dudula, futhi kusasa ngikushiya eyodwa. Okunjalo uthando lukamama kunomthelela omkhulu kwi psyche ingane. Ukukhulela kwezimo ezinjalo, indoda cishe kuzobangela ukushintsha owesifazane wakhe. Ngokushesha kuba badunyazwa nabobulili sifaneleke futhi emva ibamba uthando kuqala ngokushesha liqala search of uthando olusha. Uma okwamanje lothando indoda yayingashada nowesifazane okuthandayo bese cishe, izoqala ukuyiguqula e izinyanga ezimbili noma ezintathu.
• Ziyalawuleka "daffodil." Madoda kwengqondo ukwakheka kakhudlwana kunamanye othambekele zokungethembeki. "Narcissus" ubona kuphela imizwa yabo, izifiso kanye nezidingo. Akakwazi ukudela izithakazelo zabo nozakwenu. La madoda kakhulu sensitive izincomo ayethule futhi cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi sikulungele ukufakazela nokusebenza sabo wesilisa ukuphi. Kulesi simo umfazi usuke waqonda muzhchinoy- "daffodil" njengoba umuntu azimele, unamalungelo athile emshadweni.
• inkinga yokukhula. Ngokuvamile, ukukhashelwa umyeni wakhe, ofinyelele yobudala emaphakathi futhi azizwe nokuqala kwezinkinga zokuwa komnotho, kuyinto oqabukelayo. Le ndoda yathi kancane usezuze ekuphileni kwakhe noma, Ngakolunye uhlangothi, usechithe ukuphila kwakhe konke ukuze sifinyelele inhlalakahle yomkhaya, akazange nokufezekisa amaphupho abo kanye nokuhuheka nezinkanuko. Ngokuvamile, uma oshade naye uba necala kule ezinganeni. Abesilisa ucabanga ukuthi omunye wesifazane kungenza ukuphila kwakhe ezimibalabala kakhudlwana futhi ezithakazelisayo.
• Ukuthola umehluko. Imbangela ezivame kakhulu zokungethembeki wesilisa - kwentaba umehluko zanqwabelana futhi aliziphikisi. Lokhu kwenzeka ngokuvamile kakhulu lapho oshade naye esaphila futhi bebelokhu abakwazi ukuxazulula ezinye izinkinga zakhe, bangayinaka noma sicabanga sina. Ngesinye isikhathi esededelwe, lokhu "ithumba" ivulekile futhi indoda ithola nokuqonda izingalo uzakwabo noma amaziyo ezikhululekile.

Ngemva kokuhlaziya isimo, ngenxa lapho indoda awuzange uthembeke kuye, owesifazane angaya phezulu search aphume lengxabano ezibuhlungu. Ngokuvamile, izindlela ezimbili kuphela:

• ukwamukela isimo futhi ukuqhubeka ukuphila ngokuhlanganyela (uma indoda ishintsha ngenxa yemvelo ke uzilungiselele ukuphinda isimo, kodwa kube ukungathembeki ungubani, kubangele izinkinga emkhayeni, cishe ngeke kuphinde kwenzeke);
• Ukulungiselela phezu nencwadi yesehlukaniso.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyini imbangela lokuzama ukuvukela uMbuso, ngaphambi ethi, "Wena baye bangathembeka kimi!" bese uthatha isinqumo kwesibhamu, kumelwe sicabangele inkinga okuvela ezinhlangothini eziningana.

Izindaba ukuvukela umbuso

Ngaphambi kokunquma isehlukaniso, kubalulekile ukuthi sihlaziye ukuthi izindaba Kwathi ushintsho emndenini. Yiqiniso, ukuze uqale azihlole kuyadingeka, ngemva uthuli luhlala zonke imizwa, futhi kuphela uma lona wesifazane wafika eduze kokwenza isinqumo. Kube nezindlela eziningi kangaka ukuze ufunde mayelana ukukhashelwa kukhona, kodwa amabili kuwona zibonisa ngokucacile ukuthi umuntu akafuni ukonakalisa nomndeni ngiwunqamule elala nomkamfowabo yakhe:

1. ubufakazi ngamabomu eziwubukhazikhazi lokuvukela umbuso. Kwezinye izimo abantu ngenhloso ukwenza lutho ukuba zibanjwe nengxenye yayo yesibili. Zisuka ukuvula ikhasi in the ukuxhumana nomphakathi, ibekwe endaweni egqamile ifoni nge ukuxhumana obuseduze noma hlola esitolo. Zonke lezi zenzo ahloselwe into eyodwa kuphela - ukukhombisa umkakhe ukuthi kokungenela wakhe esiphuthumayo siyadingeka futhi izinguquko umndeni.
2. Ingxoxo kanye nathi. Abesifazane abaningi ukwazi labasolwa enkaba Ubusisiwe kakhulu. Yena ungabiza noma eze emhlanganweni ukutshela imininingwane ngesivunguvungu zabo zothando. Akubalulekile ukukhombisa imizwa yabo futhi kweso ngiwunqamule ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe. Ngokuvamile, kungenxa ukusabela ngaleyo ndlela futhi uthemba ukuthi angi. Njengoba umkhuba ubonisa, kulesi senzo ke odlulela ukulinda engenazithelo sokuthatha isinyathelo esiwujuqu kunanini phezu ingxenye lover. Le ndoda iyenqaba ukushiya umndeni bese uqhubeke nobuhlobo nomkakhe, ngakho isinqumo ukuvula amehlo okukhohlisa iba indlela kuphela ukuze kuvuswe umkakhe ahlukanise womshado ongathembekile.

Uma uye wafunda ngoshintsho nganoma iyiphi yalezi zindlela, khona-ke kufanele njalo ithuba ukuze usindise umshado wakho bese uqale lonke futhi.

Ukulungiselela i ingxoxo ebalulekile

Ingxoxo ne umyeni okungalungile abafuna ngenkani kusukela abesifazane ezingeqi kwezingu ukuqeqeshwa igcizelela isimiso sezinzwa. Khumbula ukuthi ngesikhathi nkulumo kungenzeka ziyaphuma abanye "izingibe", okuyinto kudingeka zilungiselelwe:

• ngaso sonke isikhathi kube ukungathembeki umyeni wakhe - ukungathembeki komuntu oshade naye (amadoda amaningi ungacabangi ukungathembeki ngokomzimba isizathu esicindezelayo ukubhubhisa umndeni);
• Ukuphuca wecala (ngokuvamile amadoda ngokomzwelo wemvelo nokususa umthwalo kwenzekeni emahlombe nomkakhe kanye senkosikazi);
• Ukuyekwa kwezindlela bakhuluma "ngokusuka enhliziyweni."

Khumbula ukuthi ukusaphazela yokuthonywa imizwelo engakhi ngeke kube nomthelela ongemuhle ukuxhumana nomyeni wakhe bazame hhayi kuphela ukuveza izikhalo zabo, kodwa futhi ukuzwa incazelo yakhe. Ungazami ukudlala noma iyiphi indima, ngeke liholele emphumeleni omuhle. Khuluma mayelana nilimale, ubuhlungu, ukudumala, kodwa ukukwenza bathule distantly ngangokunokwenzeka. Ungesabi ukubuza imibuzo nomyeni wakhe uzwe izimpendulo. Mhlawumbe ingxoxo ngeke ukucacisa eziningi amaphuzu emndenini wakho, ungenawo ngisho isaziso ngaphambili. Kahle kahle, nengxoxo nokukhulumisana ngokukhululekile kufanele akutshele kanjani ukuphila emva kokubekwa umyeni wakhe.

Qala aphume esibucayi

Uma inkulumo ethi "ngokusuka enhliziyweni" wathatha indawo futhi ukhetha ukugcina ubuhlobo bakho, khona-ke silungele umsebenzi ziningi futhi zaba nzima. Okokuqala ukulalela imizwa yakho. Yini ongathanda? Kanjani ofuna ukwakha impilo yakho? Yini okudingeka ukushintsha? Kanjani ukukhohlwa ukukhashelwa umyeni wakhe futhi uqale lonke futhi? Cishe, izimpendulo zale mibuzo zingatholakala ngesikhathi esisodwa. Futhi, kholwa kimi, ungalokothi uthole wedwa. Udinga ukuba sisondelene umyeni wakhe, nokuveza yonke imizwelo nezifiso zabo. Imibhangqwana eminingi ngempumelelo sisinde kule esiteji, sibonile ukuthi kunanini ngaphambili kube seduze kangaka nomunye, ngemva sokukhaphela. Ukuze iningi labo ukubukeka inkosikazi kwaba kushukunyiswe izinguquko ezinkulu futhi ezinhle ekuphileni komkhaya.

Indlela ukuqeda imbangi?

Ngokuvamile, ngemva kokuba ukwamukelwa of isimo futhi isinqumo sokumgcina owesifazane elinde umndeni, ukuthi isimo nge ukuzimisela imbangi uqobo. Kodwa, ngeshwa, razluchnitsa ingabe usekhona, futhi lona wesifazane uthola ibe round esisha ukuthukwa kanye nezikhalo. abafazi abaningi ukubeka ugwayi katiki futhi nsuku zonke wakhumbuza umyeni wakhe izikhulu zakhe kanye icala lakhe phambi umndeni wakhe. Lesi simo kuletha ambalwa nxazonke entsha ingxabano, okuvame ukuholela a owakwakhe sokuvalelisa. Ukuthi baziphathe kanjani kulesi simo? Indlela ukwethemba umyeni wakhe ngemva ukukhashelwa? Kanjani ukuqinisekisa ukuthi abaphikisi sinyamalale phakade kusukela empilweni yakho? uqaphele ukwenza ngokuvumelana nawo ukuziphatha komyeni wakhe, cishe eziningi it uqhathanise abesifazane ababili ukwenza isinqumo esiwujuqu. Akubalulekile ukuba baphelele futhi kanye nokumesaba elinde ukuqala kosuku olusha. Zinakekele futhi bayeke ukukhathazeka mayelana ukungathembeki umyeni wakhe. Owesifazane ngubani kujwayele ukuphuma endlini, waziphatha ukubukeka kwabo futhi eshiya isikhathi khulula nganoma yimuphi umsebenzi zentuthuko ubuntu bakhe njalo edonsa isithakazelo amadoda. Zizwe ukhululekile ukushiya umyeni wami nezingane umcele ukuchitha isikhathi nabo. Isikhathi more indoda izimfanelo zakho ezinhle kuzokunika umkhaya wakhe, idumela izothola kusukela abaphikisi. Ngenxa yalokho, isinqumo ukugcina umndeni kubonakale kuye elungile kakhulu kanye kuphela. Yiqiniso, ukuthembeka umyeni ngeke kubuyiswe izinsuku ezimbalwa noma ngisho nezinyanga imbala. Kodwa lapha ungasiza uvakashele sokusebenza kwengqondo umndeni, ngifunda izincwadi ekhethekile noma ukuthenga izinkulumo umsindo. Uyothola umangale ukwazi ukuthi abesifazane abaningi ebhekene nenkinga efanayo. Ngamunye waphendula yombuzo njengoba ukukholelwa umyeni wakhe ngemva komuntu oshade naye, futhi wathola indlela yabo ukuba ukuxolela umyeni wayo.

Indlela ukusinda ukukhashelwa kumyeni wakhe: iseluleko ngokwengqondo

Ngamafuphi, singasho ngokuqiniseka ukuthi ukukhashelwa - akusiwona ukuphela ubuhlobo. Ngokwezibalo, imikhaya eminingi babé baningi ngisho eduze futhi baqaphe Wakhashelwa. Ukuze ukugcina umkhaya undawonye uphinde uthole ngokwabo, odokotela bengqondo belulekwa ukuba lalelisisa izincomo ezilandelayo:

• Yiba amadoda ezolile futhi uyazethemba ungeme izinyembezi iconsi oyisidlwangudlwangu
• ahlaziye izisusa womshado okuyinto bamphushela ukushintsha;
• isikhali sakho eyinhloko ekulweni ne imbangi - ukuncokola, owesifazane uhlale aphume mncintiswano;
• vyplesnite zonke kahle yabo, kodwa lapho unkosikazi akuyona emhlabeni;
• ukuxolela umyeni wayo, ngisho uma benquma ukwehlukana naso, ikhono lokuthethelela ukudambisa umphefumulo ngikwenze namandla;
• Bakwazi ukuba baqikelele isinqumo (uma ugcine umndeni ke ngakususi icala womshado);
• ukucela usizo umyeni wakhe ukuba unqobe abakhala (umuntu esifisa ukuhlale ngikulungele ukududuza knight and uyokwenza konke okusemandleni ukubuyisela idumela lakho);
• Zingathuthukiswa njengomuntu wesifazane (nsuku zonke balwela ukuba kangcono kunaye izolo);
• ufunde ukulalelisisa engumngane (hhayi nje Unqekuzisa ikhanda futhi uyavuma nomyeni wami, kodwa ngempela ukucabanga ngezinkinga zakhe lezinhlupheko).

Yiba ngenhla isimo, bese ukukopela ngeke omunye isici, okuyinto ngomzuzwana ukubhubhisa kumila nomndeni wakho esakhiwe ngokucophelela.