Incwadi yesivumelwano umshado - ukungalethembi noma njengento edingekayo?

Kuwo wonke amazwe athuthukile, inkontileka umshado kuyinto evamile. Akukho muntu owake iyoza zicasulwe isiphakamiso ukwenza inkontileka umshado. Kodwa abantu bakithi namanje badideke futhi akhulule ezihlukahlukene amahlaya snide ngale ndaba. Abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi uzobulala zonke romance ukuthi akufanele eshada, uma ningakholwa othandweni futhi ayilungele baqikelele umndeni wakhe. Kodwa abantu esekhulile ukuphila ezihlakaniphile nakho abahlukanisayo eziningana ngaphansi ibhande lakhe nokukhungatheka of nombono ohlukile. Ngemva komshado inkontileka singasebenza njengesisekelo esiqinile sokufinyelela isiqinisekiso nazozonke izinhlobo imikhonyovu, abazingeli ngobuqili imali yabanye abantu.

Ukuze uzwisise lo mbuzo, kuyafaneleka okuseduzane, izizathu zokushaywa inkontileka umshado: ngokucophelela ngobuhle nangobubi bawo. Yiziphi izinzuzo nayilabo imibhangqwana ukuya isiphelo sesimiso inkontileka?

Okokuqala, kukhona umbuthano ezithile abantu nje kudingeka sithuthe. Ngokwesibonelo, izinkanyezi ezihlukahlukene show ibhizinisi, lapho bengena ubuhlobo bomkhaya nabakhiqizi yabo. Kulokhu, inkontileka umshado kufanele emalini kahle, ukuxoxa zonke izindaba nabameli ukuba uthintane Ochwepheshe ezihlukahlukene. Phela, izibukeli zivame wakwazi ukugcina isehlukaniso ihlazo ozithandayo izinkanyezi movie nabahlabeleli.

Okwesibili, kufanele ukuhlukanisa ngokucacile phakathi welithi "uthando" nelithi "isakhiwo". Ukumemeza Iningi mayelana kungafanele inkontileka ezifana labo abaphishekela azizuzise wona, ongeyena isiqiniseko sokuthi bazokwazi ukuba ngibe othembekile umyeni wakhe futhi okhathalelayo. Uma umuntu ezethemba, uyazi ukuthi engena emshadweni wothando, nakanjani akesabi ukuze asayine inkontilaka umshado. Awunayo ongazibheka ekwenzeni okuthile ezilulazayo bona. It is a uhlobo lomshuwalense, umbono nokuhlakanipha. Ngoba, ngeshwa, Manje akufanele isehlukaniso into ongavamile. Isehlukaniso baye sekuyinsakavukela. Kodwa inkontileka ongavikela izingane, futhi ohlangothini lwesokunene kokuhlupheka okwalandela nokungabi nabulungisa.

Okwesithathu, ababesekela isimangalo inkontileka umshado ukuthi lokhu kuwubufakazi uthando zangaphambi labasanda kushada. Uma wazi ukuthi umyeni wakho esizayo yayingathandeki neze, futhi mhlawumbe izikhathi ngisho nosizi elihlobene ne isehlukaniso futhi ukuhlukaniswa kwempahla ke wenza kanjalo uyokuqonda isifiso sakhe sokuba ephephile. Uma umshado sinamandla ngempela nobunye, lokhu ephepheni uzohlala nje Okusemthethweni. Ngokuvamile umlingani acebile aphila nabo iminyaka ngamzali munye futhi sengqondo sokwakha ehlanzekile sokuzidela, yena usula inkontileka noma yethula izinguquko eziphawulekayo inkontileka umshado.

manje Okwesine, amabhayisikobho abaningi wathwebula ku Emacaleni esehlukaniso, lapho kubonisa ukuthi bangaki abantu abake bathandana nezinye, uqale ngithukulule ukwabelana zonke spoon zokugcina, lokuxhaphaza izingane futhi ziziphathe ezinjengendle futhi scary. Ukuze ugweme lokhu okwakwenzeka, kubalulekile ukuba ucabange kusengaphambili zonke. Phela, akekho kithi ofuna othandekayo ubuhlungu ingalo yakhe noma umlenze ukuze ngedini noma nemoto eyebiwe, kodwa wonke umuntu uzama ukuthathelwa umshuwalense kanye cottage, futhi imoto, kanye nezempilo. Kungani ungenzi okufanayo emshadweni wakho?

Yiziphi agumenti ukubeka phambili yibo abakholwayo ukuthi inkontileka umshado - akunangqondo futhi ukuhlazeka?

Okokuqala, leyo nkontileka akwenzi mqondo ngoba labo abashadayo ingenabantwana impahla. Yini owabelana labo futhi ngakho ayikho into? A somshado impahla abameli ngakho ngokulinganayo ihlukaniswe.

Okwesibili, inketho reverse. Isivumelwano esinjalo akudingekile ngakho kulezo imindeni lapho bobabili abashadile benze umnikelo ilingane umndeni.

Okwesithathu, e nokubhalwa inkontileka ngeke labo abathandwa kakhulu futhi ayinakho isenzakalo esingajabulisi yesehlukaniso. Ngokuvamile nishaye isiqalo amanzi kulabo ubisi kanye obzhogsya.