Kungani ukudangala ezingabantu kunzima kakhulu ukuqaphela

Kukhona omunye iqiniso elithakazelisayo ngale ukucindezeleka besilisa. It kuvela ukuthi iningi odokotela yeqembu kwezempilo okuyisisekelo abakwazi ukuthola inkinga. Kungani lokhu kwakwenzeka? Lo mbuzo uphendulwa ngudokotela wezifo zengqondo wezempilo waseHarvard Medical School Uilyam Pollak. Iqiniso lokuthi ochwepheshe ufuna efana okubonakalisa izimpawu zesifazane zokucindezeleka: ukudumala, izinyembezi, ukukhathala. Kodwa izimpawu yokuthi indoda manifest ukucindezeleka, yizimfanelo ezinjengothando Ukuthandwa umsebenzi, ukucasuka, impulsivity nolaka lwabantu.

Nobunzima ekuxilongweni

UDkt Pollack wagcizelela ukuthi uhlelo zokuxilonga siphelelwe yisikhathi, futhi iziguli eziningi nje ukundlula esiteji ukubonakaliswa izimpawu zokuqala zesifo. Yingakho ukucindezeleka amadoda kunzima kangaka ukuyithola. Uma uzithola izimpawu zesifo ezichazwe ngenhla, kumele wenze sibonane nodokotela wakho.

Bewazi yini ukuthi umsebenzi zingamelana isimo enkulu futhi bacindezeleke? Ungase futhi kabusha ingqondo yakho ngandlela-thile. Landela lezi ziqondiso.

Lahla intukuthelo kuqhume

Ekuhambeni kwesikhathi ungase sifunde ukuqaphela imizwa engakhi esiteji nesenzakalo yabo. Uma uqala ekucasukeni, futhi uthukuthele, zibuze ukuthi kungani nenza lokhu? Ngakho, ungakwazi ukuhlonza umcimbi ukuthi wakukhipha kulesi simo. Ukuzizwa ukukhungatheka, ubuhlungu noma ubuhlungu, ungakwazi futhi "mba" kancane engqondweni yakhe. Musa hlaziya isimo wedwa, khuluma ngalokho okwenzekayo nomkami noma umngane oseduze. Yileyo indlela zisindise kusukela ngokuhlasela intukuthelo ongalawuleki.

Ungathuli

Uma owesifazane Uthi engasenandaba wena, musa ukuhlala ekuthuleni kokufa. Mtshele ukuthi ungabona kanjani ukuthi ecasukile, kodwa ningaqondi isizathu. Ingabe-ke ukuthi wayengasakwazi uzizwe reciprocity, noma ebangela ubuhlungu? Khona-ke buza uma ungakwazi ukulungisa okuthile.

inkulumo Okuningi ngemizwa yabo

Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuthi indoda ayithandi ukuba bahlale begxila emizweni yabo, ikakhulukazi uma lezi imizwelo engakhi. Nokho, akuyona. Futhi izifundo ezintsha uqinisekise lesi. Ngakho-ke, uma wahlangana elinezinkathazo okuthile isihlobo noma umngane, simcela ukuba inkhulumiswano ukukhuluma enhliziyweni.

Zindla athule

Abesilisa bakhathazekile nokuzindla, bakubheka njengobuthakathaka into eyihlazo. Ngakho-ke kuba njalo kungenzeka ukwenza lula inqubo, awusebenzisi mantra. Vele uhlale uthule endaweni esekusithekeni bese uzindla khona inkathi imizuzu emihlanu. Yenza inqubo nsukuzonke ezinjalo.