Indlela ukukhulisa umfana kahle eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila kwakhe

Kaningi kuyenzeka ukuthi abazali bafuna abe uyintombazane noma ungumfana. Kodwa kaningi zicabanga mayelana umehluko inqubo yemfundo, okuyinto kuxhomeke ubulili wosana? Kodwa kanjani ukufundisa umfana, indlela yokutshala ke endodeni yangempela - ndaba eyinkimbinkimbi futhi enezici.

Lokho mntwana wazalelwa

Lapho kuzalwa indodana, omunye imisebenzi yokuqala amnike igama indoda langempela. Kulokhu, odokotela bengqondo musa batusa akunika amagama kabili, ezifana Eugene, Valentin noma uJulius. Umbala oluhlaza izingubo musa ukudlala indima ekulu kumiswa abesilisa ababhekwa ngayo. Kungenzeka, isidingo sokuba abazali, zingabantu ngaleyo ndlela, njengoba kuwuphawu kwabanye ukuthi umkhaya ukhula indoda yangempela.

Unyaka wokuqala wokuphila

Emhlabeni kokuphela konyaka wokuqala wokuphila, abazali, acabange ngalo mbuzo ukuthi ukukhulisa umfana kahle, abantu uzophawula ukuthi ingane yabo uthanda nokuxabana. Ngakho ubonisa "Mina" yakhe, ebonisa ukuzimela kwakhe. lokhu kubonakaliswa ochwepheshe ngokuthi "Ngonyaka wokuqala lesi simo." Phakathi nale nkathi, ngenkuthalo kwakhiwa hhayi nje uhlamvu yendodana yakhe, kodwa futhi ukuzimisela kwakhe, ukuzimela, ngisho ukuzethemba. Abazali bangazisiza kanjani liziphathe kulesi simo? Kufanele uzame ngangokunokwenzeka aphathe ngokuphepha lokhu kubonakaliswa. Ungazami refract ubunjalo ingane, e ubudlelwano laye ukusiza isiguli weasel and. Ngalesi ubudala, abafana badinga uthando nesisa, akukho amantombazane kancane, ngokulandelana, ukuqabula noma ngokumanga ngeke kukulimaze kakhulu ekuthuthukeni amadoda esizayo. Shono emfundweni yezingane Islam akusho ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwabo kulonyaka ngobulili: kukhona abafana namantombazane bayalingana. Nokho, akufanele sivumele umfana twist kancane indophi: igunya lobuzali kufanele kugxilise ngothando lwakho nokunakekela. Kodwa lapha kungcono ukwazi ngesilinganiso, ngoba umntwana azidingayo ukuze bakwazi ukuzenelisa isiqinisekiso, ngakho abangazinaki izifiso zakhe, izicelo esikhathini esizayo kungaba ukudlala nawe ihlaya ezimbi. Odokotela bengqondo batusa abazali ukubuza imibuzo mayelana nendlela ukukhulisa umfana kahle, ungayisebenzisi uma ebhekisela indodana genderless "umntwana", "lapulya" ... Inketho engcono kungaba beveza ukwelashwa, egcizelela ukuthi ungubani ngokocansi, ezifana "idwala lami", "indodana" "iqhawe" nokunye.

Boys abangaphezu kweminyaka engu-eminyakeni emithathu

Emhlabeni abazali waphawula ukuthi ingane ithola uzibuse iminyaka emithathu. Ngalesi ubudala, izinyane ukufunda ukuxhumana phakathi kwabantu, ukufunda ukuqonda ukuthi yini engalungile futhi okuhle. Kwakuphakathi nalesi sikhathi sikhathi, umfana libonakala sifise more ukuxhumana nabantu, kube njengoba abanesibindi, Qina, ume isibindi. Manje efaneleke kakhulu abazali abenza ezibuza "indlela ukufundisa umfana," kuyonikeza lungile hola, ukukhombisa ejwayelekile kakhulu ukuziphatha besilisa (ngokuqinisekile positive). Umama elusa ukhule ube "uyiqhawe", you bheka it, okokuqala kunakho konke, umuntu omncane, ngokukhetha isikhundla wobulili buthaka. Self-umfana kuyoba usizo uthintane naye, futhi makabe eqinile (isibonelo, abonisa ukuthi, ngaphandle-ke, nakanjani asewile). Futhi khumbula, imfundo engokomoya yezingane iqala okwamanje lapho abazali awanike aqonde ukuthi nawo angabantu amalungu omndeni agcwele.