8 izimfanelo ezikhangayo abantu abazifunayo kumlingani

Uma ufuna ukwandisa ukukhangisa kwakho ngokobulili, susa esibukweni.

I-Business Insider yabuza iqembu labachwepheshe ngokuthandana kanye nobuhlobo ukuze babelane ngezimfanelo ezikhangayo kakhulu kumlingani ongase abe khona, futhi akekho oshiwo izici zomzimba. Yiqiniso, ukubheka okuhle kubalulekile, kodwa kubonakala sengathi abantu bafuna umuntu ozethembayo futhi omuhle kwabanye.

Funda ukuze uthole ukuthi yiziphi izinhlobo zomlingiswa ozidingayo ukuze uheha uthando.

Ithemba

"Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bayayazi noma cha, kodwa ukwethemba kuyinto ebalulekile abantu abayifunayo kumlingani," kusho uMichael McNulty, umqeqeshi oyinhloko futhi uqinisekisile isazi sobudlelwane obuvela eChicago Center for Communications.

Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lusitshela ukuthi abantu bavele bathambekele ekuthumeni imihlangano yothando phakathi kobudlelwane besikhathi eside lapho bezwa ukuthi bangathemba umlingani ongase abe khona. Ukuthembela ebuhlotsheni abuhlanganiswa nje ngobuqotho, kodwa futhi ngokutshalwa kwemali ebuhlotsheni. Lona umqondo wokuzinikela komunye nomunye. Iphuzu ukuthi bobabili abalingani baqinisile kubo kanye nobuhlobo babo obuvamile. Bathembekile ngalokho abakufunayo, futhi bazimisele ukusebenza emibambiswaneni yabo ekufuneni ukulinganisa.

Ubungane

"Ozakwethu abazama ukwazana kangcono, babonisane, futhi bayabamba futhi basabele emizamweni nasekuboniseni ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye, hhayi abathandi kuphela, kodwa nabangani," kusho uMcNulty.

Lokhu kuhilela ukwesekwa, ukuhleka, ukuzwelana kanye nezinye izimfanelo eziningi. Ubungane buyakha futhi buthuthukisa ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi uthando lusiza kuphela abathandi ukuveza omunye nomunye ngendlela entsha.

Ukulimala

"Sithanda abantu abanamandla ngokwanele ukukhombisa nokuzivula ngaphandle kokuhlola ukuthembela," kusho uHal Runkel, umlingani womshado nomndeni we-psychotherapist nomlobi we- "Khetha impilo yakho yabantu abadala."

Uthando kuwe

"Sithanda abantu abangase bahleke futhi bazizwe bekhululekile emizimbeni yabo futhi empeleni bathande ngokwabo ukuthi bangobani," kusho i-Runkel.

Ukuqiniseka

"Sithanda abantu abanokwethenjelwa abangalwela lokho abafuna ngaphandle kokufakazela okuthile kumuntu," kusho u-Runkel.

UJoseph Burgot, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nomlobi kaNarcissus, owaziyo, uthi into efanayo: "Ukuzihlonipha okuphezulu kuyizocansi uma kungenayo ukungena komuntu ngokweqile."

Uma sihileleke ebuhlotsheni obuseduze, sibeka ingxenye yobunikazi bethu emibhangqwana esiyibumba kanye nomunye umuntu. Ngoba abantu bazizwa isidingo sokujoyina umuntu onokwethenjelwa kakhulu futhi wenza bazizwe bejabule.

Inzalo ethandekayo

"Noma ubani obuza imibuzo ngawe futhi wenza konke okusemandleni ukukuqonda ukhangayo kakhulu," kusho uBurgo.

Sonke sifuna ukuzwa ukuthi siyathandeka futhi sinentshisekelo kubalingani bethu abangabathandana nabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umuntu obonisa isithakazelo sangempela kulokho esiyikho, ekuqaleni, kungenzeka ukuthi abe umlingani oqondayo ngokwengeziwe esikhathini eside.

UDkt. Terry Orbuh (PhD), isazi sobudlelwano, uprofesa eYunivesithi yase-Auckland nomlobi we-"The New Search for Love: 6 Izinyathelo Ezilula Zobungane Obusha Nebujabulisayo" uyavumelana nale mbono futhi uthi: "Uma uchitha isikhathi" udayisa "wena ngokwakho , Kubonakala sengathi uzizicabange, ungase uzizwe isidingo sokuzithengisa ngokwakho kumlingani ongakhona, kodwa empeleni, uma uqhubeka ukhuluma ngawe, uzohlukanisa omunye umuntu. Ubudlelwano, ngisho nasekuqaleni, bunikeza futhi bamukela. Labo abaxhumana nabo ababuza imibuzo ngabo, bese belalela ngokucophelela izimpendulo, okusho ukuthi banesithakazelo, abanesithakazelo kubo, njengabantu ngabanye, bafuna ngempela ukubazi. "Konke lokhu kuyizimfanelo ezinhle kakhulu ebuhlotsheni obuseduze."

Sense of amahlaya

"Ukuzijabulisa kwenza noma yikuphi ubudlelwano nanoma imuphi umhlangano kungcono," kusho u-Orbukh.

Kuhle kakhulu uma unesimo esihle, futhi kumnandi ukuthi ube nomuntu othanda ukuhleka futhi unomdlalo omuhle. Uma othile enzima kakhulu, kubonakala sengathi udinga ukusebenza kanzima ukuze ube naye. Kodwa kulula kakhulu uma uvele uhleka okuthile ndawonye.

Kodwa u-Orbukh uphinde uxwayise abantu ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi bazama kanzima: "Hlala kude namahlaya ozidela, isibonelo, ukuhlekisa umsebenzi wakho okhethiwe noma umndeni wakho."

Ukuqiniseka

"Sikhangwa abantu abanomqondo omuhle futhi abanethemba, bangahle bahleke futhi bahlekise," kusho u-Orbukh.

Ukungahambi kahle kwemvelo kudala ukungalungi, futhi uma sinabantu abanamandla okungalungile (ukucindezeleka, ukudumazeka), lokhu kuthinta isimo sethu sengqondo namathemba ekuphileni kanye nokujwayelekile. Ngakho-ke, sifuna ukuba nomuntu othembekile, egcizelele kokuhle futhi uyazi ukuthi ubona kanjani okuhle ezimweni eziningi.