Indlela yokwenza ukuthula nomuntu othandekayo ngemva kokulwa

Ekuphileni kombhangqwana ngamunye, ngisho nokuqineka okukhulu, ukungaqondani okwenzekayo, okuvame ukuholela ekuxabaneni okukhulu. Ngakho-ke ngalesi sikhathi noma umzuzu umbuzo ungavela: "Futhi kanjani ukuvumelanisa nabathandekayo bakho?"

Ngomfushane mayelana nokuyinhloko

Ukuxabana akuyona ukuphela kwengxabano. Lesi yisikhumbuzo sokuthi uzodinga futhi ukunqoba umlingani wakho, okwamanje okhathazekile kakhulu futhi othukuthele. Ngezinye izikhathi akufanele uzame ukuvumelanisa nabakhethiwe ngokushesha ngemuva kokungqubuzana. Lokhu kungaholela ekungaqondani nasekuqhekekeni okusha kokuhlukunyezwa. Kodwa ukulibazisa ngokubuyisana akufanelekile, ngaphandle kwalokho othandekayo wakho uzocabanga ukuthi awudingi.

Ukufunda ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala

Embuzweni wokuthi ungaxoxisana kanjani nabathandekayo emva kokuxabana, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi kufanele banikezwe lowo ozoqala ukuhlangana ngemva kokuxabana. Into enzima kunazo zonke ukungamzwisi ubuhlungu umlingani wakho ngisho nakakhulu ekushiseni kwencazelo. Ngenxa yalokhu, ukhohlwa isikhashana zonke izizathu zokuphikisana kwakho futhi utshele othandekayo wakho ukuthi uyamkhumbula kanjani, ukuthi ulahlekelwe kanjani.

Sibonisa ukubekezela

Kubuye kwenzeke ukuthi lowo okhethiwe akakakakulungeli ukuxazulula impikiswano. Indlela yokuvumelanisa nomuntu othandekayo, uma engafuni? Esimeni esinjalo kungcono ukunikeza umlingani isikhathi esithile. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ungazama ukuqala ingxoxo ngesihloko esingacacile. Phakamisa isigamu sakho sesibili ndawonye ukuze ubone ifilimu yothando - lokhu kuzovumela umlingani ukuba "aphule phansi" futhi esikhathini esizayo ukuqala inkhulumomphendvulwano nawe. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi izingxabano ziyimbangela yokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo, ukuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, zithinta kakhulu imizwa yabantu futhi zivimbele ukubonakaliswa kwazo. Kodwa isifiso sokuqeda ukuxabana kubonisa umuntu ngokukhanya okukhulu, ngoba ukwenza ukuthula nendoda ethandekayo, isibonelo, uyakwazi ukuqonda, ukuthethelela nokwenza ukunciphisa okuncane ngenxa yomlingani wakhe empilweni owesifazane.

Uma bekukhona ukungqubuzana

Indlela yokuvumelanisa nomuntu othandekayo ngemuva kokungavumelani? Okokuqala, thola phansi. Zama ukungaluphakamisi izwi lakho futhi ungenzi izimangalo kumthande wakho. Izazi zengqondo zeluleka emva kwempi ngayinye ukuba zithathe umoya ojulile zizibalele ezingamashumi amathathu. Zibuze - yini ebaluleke kakhulu kuwe: ukuhlukumeza oyisiphukuphuku noma uthando nokuqonda okufanayo komlingani wakho. Khuluma ngokuthula futhi ngobumnene, kunoma yikuphi okwenzayo ungaphakamisi ithoni. Uma othandekayo ephika zonke izimpikiswano nezimpikiswano zakho, ungathukutheli - mnike isikhathi esincane sokucabanga, nje ungafaki ukugcina izigwegwe futhi ugweme ukwenza amacala ngokumelene naye. Uma imbangela yempikiswano yayingesiyinto engathandeki, kodwa into engathí sina, ephazamisa ubudlelwane bakho, kungcono ukuqeda ukuxabana ngokushesha. Woza engxenyeni yakho yesibili, ubambe, ubambe futhi uxolise. Uma ungumgqugquzeli wezingxabano, chaza ukuthi amagama omlingani wakho akwenza uzizwe ungakhululekile, kodwa naphezu kwalokhu, uyamthanda kakhulu futhi uyakwazisa othandekayo wakho.

Indlela yokuvumelanisa nomthande wakho emva kokuhlukanisa?

Izivunguvungu zivame ukuholela ekupheleni kobudlelwane. Ekugcineni, uma kungekho ukuqonda okufanayo, abalingani bakhetha ukuhlakazeka. Kodwa, naphezu komzwelo wokufutheka nentukuthelo, imizwa ingaqhubeka isikhathi eside. Futhi isikhathi eside kakhulu somunye wabalingani, futhi mhlawumbe bobabili, bacabanga ukuthi bangahlangana kanjani nomuntu othandekayo. Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele uyenze?

1. Khohlwa konke ukucasuka futhi ucabange ngokubuyisana nomuntu okhethiwe. Khumbula zonke izinto ezihlekisayo nezomusa ezenzeka kuwe ngesikhathi sobuhlobo. Khumbula, ngaphansi kweziphi izimo, ukuthi wazi kanjani nokuthi waziphi lapho owazi khona. Uma ufuna ngempela ukubuyisela ubuhlobo bakho, khona-ke inani lezinkumbulo ezihle nezinhle kufanele zibe mkhulu kunokubi nokungajabulisi.
2. Qala ngokubiza isigamu sakho sesibili. Uma othandekayo wehla ucingo lwakho noma umane nje engathathi ifoni, zama ukuvakashela indawo lapho umlingani wakho enza khona kaningi. Ukubona, ungasheshi ukuqala inkhulumomphendvulwano. Thatha umnikelo womhlangano ngesikhathi esifanele kokubili. Zama ukunikeza indawo ebiza kakhulu indawo engakukhunjulwa - lokhu kungaba yi-cafe lapho uhlangane khona, umzila lapho u-kiss wakho wokuqala kwenzeka, njalo njalo.
3. Ngosuku, fika ngengubo okwenziwe ngumlingani ngesikhathi sobudlelwane bakho. Emhlanganweni, khumbula zonke izikhathi ezimnandi ezake zenzeka kuwe. Tshela othandekayo ukuthi uyamkhumbula ngempela, ukuthi bangathanda ukubuyisa isikhathi sobuhlobo bakho, cela ukuthi aqale futhi.
4. Uma isigamu sakho senqabe lokhu, khombisa abangani abasele. Ngokujwayelekile umbhangqwana wokuqala ungacabangi ukukhulumisana futhi. Lokhu kuyoba yinkomba enhle, futhi ungazama futhi ukwakha ubuhlobo nomlingani wakho. Bonisa ukuthi kuye ushintshile kangcono futhi uqhubeke nokuthanda owakhethiweyo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukukhulumisana kwakho kungaba ubuhlobo obufudumele, hhayi ubuhlobo, futhi ungazama ukusondela futhi.
5. Sebenzisa ukunyakaza okuthakazelisayo - yenza isigamu sakho sesibili isipho esingakhohlwa noma isikhumbuzo. Le nto encane izokhumbuza umlingani wakho ngawe nobuhlobo bakho obuhle. Vumela ukwethula imizwa yakho kubathandekayo bakho - lokhu kungaba ikhadi lekhadi elihle, umlayezo wothando noma isibalo sabathandi ababili.

Vimbela ukungavumelani

Izazi zengqondo zeluleka ukucima ingxabano ngokushesha ngemuva kokubonakala kwayo. Nazi ezinye amathiphu okuzokusiza ngokunciphisa kakhulu ingozi yokuphikisana okusha:

1. Ungamangaleli umlingani wakho ngokusondelana - ukuhlambalaza okunjalo kuyamcasula kakhulu futhi akukhohliwe kangako.

Thola okuthakazelisayo okuzokuletha ndawonye - ugibele ndawonye ngamabhayisikili, ugijime, uqoqe ama-puzzle, uvakashele imibukiso namamyuziyamu, ubuke amafilimu athakazelisayo.

3. Ungabufihli intukuthelo kuwe - indlela engcono kakhulu ukutshela umlingani wakho ngendlela emnene ngendlela ozizwa ngayo.

4. Thola umuntu obathandayo ukuthi abe nemfanelo emihle futhi kaningi ukhulume ngokuthi uyabathanda kanjani.

5. Gwema inhlebo mayelana nomlingani wakho - ungatsheli muntu ngobuhlobo bakho nezikhalazo.

6. Akekho oye wenqatshelwe ukuphumula komunye nomunye - kuyoba usizo lokuchitha isikhathi, futhi uzokwazi ukuphinda ulahlekelwe okhethile.

7. Ungathathi zonke izinkinga kuwe - umlingani wakho futhi ungumuntu ozimele futhi onokwethenjelwa.

8. Ekukhulumisaneni nomuntu othandekayo, gwema imishwana eyinhloko: "wena njalonjalo", "konke kuyihlo", "yebo yonke imindeni yakho injalo," "awukwazi ukwethenjwa." Ungamgxeka umlingani wakho, ungasebenzisi amagama "futhi", "njalo" futhi "ungalokothi".