Psychology zabantu ngemva kokwehlukana. amadoda Psycho. Lokho Abesilisa bazizwa ngemva kokwehlukana

On indlela owesifazane angamtshela ngayo uya ngehlukanisa, okuye kwabhalwa okuningi. Cishe wonke umagazini ecwebezelayo usulungile ukunikela ladies uhlu amathiphu angakusiza ukuhlela ukuphila kwakho, ngisho nangemva lalibhekisela kokuhlukana kothandekayo. Futhi siyazi ukuthi amadoda azizwa ngemva kwesehlukaniso? Abeve babhekane nezinkinga zabo nokucindezeleka? Lesi sihloko senzelwe nengxenye enamandla lwesintu, futhi ngeke uphendula lo mbuzo: "? Ingubani - indoda ohlukanisile besikhathi sethu"

Bakwenzelani bazohlukana?

Ngeshwa, emphakathini wanamuhla, isehlukaniso kwenzeke cishe nsuku zonke. Futhi ekwindla, nemindeni abasha abaningi abaye beshadile ngisho iminyaka emithathu, futhi kuba imifelandawonye ezimisiwe, lapho lo mbhangqwana ndawonye iminyaka engaphezu kweminyaka engamashumi amabili. Ngokwezibalo bembuza ngesehlukaniso, abesifazane babe ezintweni iphula kaningi, kodwa amadoda awafuni ukuyeka neengcezu yabo yesibili futhi smartly abeke isignesha phezu amaphepha isehlukaniso. Kungani kalula ngakho uzimisele ukuyidlulisa ukuphila kwakhe kwangaphambili futhi alikhulumi nanokukhuluma ngayo? Odokotela bengqondo bathi yonke into ilula.

amadoda eziningi zikholelwa ukuthi umshado abanye komkhawulo kubavikela ujabulela ukuphila. Ososayensi, eYunivesithi yaseCalifornia olwenziwa ukuhlola ukwazi, kokuxoxa a amadoda angamakhulu ngubani injected iqiniso serum. On umbuzo othi obani nokuthi kungani unomona, abahlanganyeli ayisishiyagalombili nantathu wabonisa nozakwabo abangashadile. Babecabanga ukuthi khulula futhi awanaki ziphile eziningi ubuhlobo bobulili kuyinto lungafinyeleleki ekahle khona umkakhe nezingane.

Ngesikhathi izivakashi, psychoanalyst amadoda amaningi, bayavuma nokho ukuthi umndeni ayikuvumeli ukuba zihlakulele. Esikhathini buka zabantu inkululeko libukeka iqoqo ezilingayo zokunqoba entsha kanye impumelelo. Kubonakala sengathi ukuba umuntu amane nje ukuqeda izinkinga zomkhaya, njengoba ukuphila kuzoletha eziningi amathuba ukuthi azovula amathemba okwanda zezimali kanye umsebenzi. Kodwa, naphezu iziphetho idatha, iningi lamadoda ungazizwa amandla okugqashula off elala nomkamfowabo yakhe. Sinenkosi izindaba, uhlushwa imisebenzi opostylevshih, kodwa u-85% amacala wake wafaka isicelo sesehlukaniso kuqala. Nokho ngenjabulo ukusekela isinyathelo umkakhe lokufaka isehlukaniso. Kuyamangalisa akunjalo? Kodwa nakhu kanjani ukushintsha ukuphila komuntu ngemva kokwehlukana kuyoba isimanga ephelele kuye. Futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Psychology zabantu ngemva kokwehlukana: Model ukuziphatha

Eyeqisayo ngesehlukaniso ungazange kan- isikhathi eside emphakathini wethu, kodwa eminyakeni yamuva Ukuziphatha kwamadoda abaye babhekana nokulahlekelwa umndeni, kubangela intshisekelo sina phakathi kwengqondo. Kukholakala ukuthi lo wesifazane, ekubeni ngaphandle lwezimali nesiphanga yesiqhwaga, iwela ukucindezeleka isikhathi eside isikhathi eside awukwazi ukubuyela ekuphileni okuvamile. Futhi kuthiwani amadoda? Yiqiniso, yokuthi zingenakubekwa izibopho, lapho kufanele ukhokhe ukulahlekelwa esinqunyiwe impahla kanye nemali. Ezinye izindaba zika-insizwa noma kakade aphethwe angaphila njengoba sicela, ngisho ukushada uthando esisha, okwenzeka eminyakeni kwezinye izimo. Kodwa iqiniso alikho kamnandi kangaka.

Ucwaningo olwenziwe yi-zezenhlalo yaseBrithani yathola ukuthi 23% amadoda ukuzizwa ekhathala futhi% 37 kuphela - ebugqilini izinkathazo ngokumelene 20 no-40% ngokulandelana in the abesifazane okwaxoxwa. Ngakho, indoda eyahlukanisa ngemva kokuphuma enkantolo azizwa hhayi ekhululekile futhi ejabule futhi ucindezelekile udidekile. Kodwa kungani lokhu cishe izaziso akekho?

Iqiniso lokuthi abameleli ubulili namandla kungamukelwa ukukhala lapho ufelwe umuntu uthando elahlekile, futhi igama elithi "isehlukaniso" akuyona enduduzo siyakuhalalisela kusuka nozakwethu nabangane. Ngokwemvelo, kulesi simo, engxenyeni eqinile lwesintu uhlose fihla imizwa yabo yangempela ngoba ukungabi nasimilo, izinkampani esinomsindo imfucuza songenangqondo. Lesi saziso cishe zonke ex-abafazi. Bathi ukuthi umyeni wabo ajwayelekile ngakho wangaphambili liziphatha ngokuphelele Akakwazanga. Lokhu kungaba ukuzibonakalisa ngezindlela ezahlukene. Amanye amadoda owayehlala bathule ngomoya ophansi, kuvele kuqale ukuba baphuze bese carouse ekuseni kuze kuhlwe. Careerists aphonse konke uhambe uhambo olude, kodwa obaba kanye sína futhi wemfanelo ukukhohlwa izingane zabo futhi bachitha yonke imali ku ukuzijabulisa ezibizayo.

Konke lokhu nje ngomzamo ukuzanelisa ngokuthi isidingo sakhe uphoqe, ngoba, ngokusho isikali lokucindezeleka okungokomzwelo, isehlukaniso okulingana kokufa komuntu. Futhi ukusinda nalesi sikhathi esinzima kungenziwa kuphela kudlule zonke izigaba ukulila.

Udokotela wengqondo U-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: Izigaba ezinhlanu usizi

Isazi esidumile Ross wadala bayihlaba kakhulu inkolelo yakhe lokuzila elisekelwe imizwelo yabantu ukufa. Kodwa, njengoba ifika lapho, yathola Psychology amadoda ngemva kokwehlukana akahlukile isimo abantu ababangwa nezibi. Ukubuyela ukuphila okuvamile, kubalulekile ukuba zidlule kunalokho eziyinkimbinkimbi izigaba ezinhlanu:

1. Ukuphika

Le nsizwa ayikwazi bakholelwa ukuthi isehlukaniso - kuba ngokoqobo. Yena unganakile Uphika konke izinguquko futhi ungafuni ukufaka esiteji entsha yokuphila.

2. Ulaka

Ngaphandle lesi sinyathelo, kunzima ukubuyela ngendlela evamile yokuphila, futhi "uyayekela" isimo. Eba neconsi ngokuzumayo, ukungeneliseki kuthululwe ku bonke abanye. Ezimweni lapho umuntu uhlala yedwa ngemva kwesehlukaniso, angakwazi nje aphonse yakudala, okusikhumbuza ngaphambili.

3. Bargaining

Lesi sigaba sifushane kakhulu, futhi waveza isifiso sawo sokuba ubuyele ngendlela yakhe yokuphila yangaphambili nokuphilela. Inhliziyo yomuntu wasemhlabeni ingase ngokokuqala langemva ngemva kwesehlukaniso, sibheke owayeyintombi yakhe unkosikazi amehlo ezahlukene kakhulu. Futhi, kwangimangaza abavusa namanje uzizwa, ngisho noma wenza umqalisi yokwehlukana. Unomuzwa ngokulangazelela umndeni, uzama ngangokunokwenzeka ukubona izingane ungase uqale ngisho ukukholisa ex-unkosikazi ukuvuselela umshado.

4. Ukucindezeleka

Ngeshwa, lesi sinyathelo ungaphakathi amadoda indolent kanye nesikhathi eside. Kwezinye izimo, kuthatha kuya eminyakeni emihlanu. California Institute esanda kunyatheliswa izibalo on ukuzibulala besilisa ngemva kwesehlukaniso, futhi wayesejele zokusebenza kwengqondo nje washaqeka. Phela, amadoda ephindwe kabili yokubhidlika kunalapho ukuzibulala isixazululekile emva kweminyaka emibili noma emithathu ngemva breaking up nomkakhe. Le nkathi iyona ayingozi kakhulu - eseyintsha isikhundla emphakathini esenyamalala, ukukhathala, kanye umuzwa wokuba nesizungu, kunalokho, ukwandisa.

5. Ukwamukelwa

Ngesikhathi sigaba lokugcina indoda ababesosizini unganakile ukwamukela ukudivosa njengendlela a fait accompli. ukuphila Odlule nje inkumbulo futhi akabubangeli imizwelo engakhi. Ngemva lapho kwemukelwa khona umuntu khulula ukungena esigabeni esisha umsebenzi wakhe futhi kungaba ngempumelelo ukwakha ubuhlobo umngane womshado ofanelekayo.

Postrazvodnaya ukucindezeleka eside e amadoda

Isehlukaniso - kuyinto ikhefu esisemthethweni ebuhlotsheni hhayi kuphela. Cishe kuzo zonke izimo ukushonelwa ukwesekwa amandla nokuxhumana Owadala ambalwa. Kuyinto lokhu ubuhlobo futhi ngesisekelo umshado, awusebenzi likhiphe ngemva kokushiya inkantolo nekusayina imibhalo. Ngamunye abashadayo kufanele ukuzivumelanisa nesimo ukushintsha, kodwa amadoda naso ngokuphumelelayo zimbi kakhulu kunabesifazane.

Psychology zabantu ngemva kwesehlukaniso, elinesimo isithakazelo esikhulu ezindabeni zokuphila we obeshade. Kulula kakhulu ukuchaza: ubudlelwane amandla ayikahlanganiswa siphukile, futhi umlingani ayikwazi kushintshwe impilo ngaphandle kwalo. Ngokumangalisayo, ngisho nokubonakala kokungqubuzana isoka elisha sowesifazane ayikwazi ukumisa zakuqala nezingxoxo mayelana nokuphila esidlule ukuvakashelwa. Ngokuvamile abesifazane aqala ubuhlobo amadoda usanda kudivosa awuboni ukuthi asesikhundleni ehlaselwe ukucindezeleka, futhi gnawing umhawu towards ex-owakwakhe. Kodwa empeleni, umuntu nje akakwazi ukwakha impilo ngokungabi bikho inqubo evamile ukukhiqizwa amandla futhi exchange.

Izimbangela Male Ukucindezeleka

Ngemva kwesehlukaniso, iningi abafana sizizwe sikhungathekile futhi ngeke sinqobe imizwa engakhi. Esikhathini nesimo esinzima bezithola e uhlobo cleaner, lapho kungekho muntu ungaba nabo isimo. Konke lokhu okwenzekayo ngokumelene isizinda ukuqapha eduze yokuphila abashadayo wangaphambili, lapho bonke ingaqala kahle impela. Ngenxa yalokho, kukhona futhi bacindezeleke futhi ecabanga nokuzibulala. Yezimbangela ezivame kakhulu zokucindezeleka:

• kusidumaze nenkululeko entsha futhi abesifazane;
• nokutubeka engqondweni nasemzimbeni kusukela search engapheli naye omusha ngokobulili;
• amaphutha asobala Bachelor ukuphila - yokuntuleka ukunakekelwa, induduzo bangaphumula kanjani;
• wecala ubudlelwano ngobugebengu.

Kwezinye izimo, amadoda ohlukanisile waphawula ukuqoqwa zonke izici ezingenhla.

I kuwukubonakaliswa ukucindezeleka amadoda ngemva kokwehlukana

Abesifazane ngisele ngedwa, akhe bazama ukuxosha imizwelo yabo, siyivumele ukuba ngokushesha alulame. Abamdeleli yini Unelungelo ukulahlekelwa isimo yayo njengendlela kwabesilisa eqinile futhi beqiniseka, ngakho ufihle ngokucophelela nosizi lwabo futhi kancane kancane kususwe ngokuphelele. Baguculela ku ngokwabo futhi ziziphathe ngokuphelele atypical ezimweni eziningi. Ngokuvamile bacindezeleke syndrome sivezwe kanje:

• ukudideka, nokuntula usizo futhi ukulahlekelwa ikhono lokwenza izinqumo;
• eziyingozi uthando utshwala, izidakamizwa kanye nezinye izindlela ukukhohlwa;
• ubudlova nangezikhathi okungazelelwe sentukuthelo, okungase luboniswe umphefumulo efuna;
• ukulahlekelwa ephelele isithakazelo yonke imikhakha yempilo;
• ukukhathala okungamahlalakhona, ngiphathwa ikhanda njalo;
• potency encishisiwe.

Ngokuvamile ukucindezeleka kwenzeka amadoda ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Phakathi nale nkathi, amandla bome, owabangelwa abashadayo ngesikhathi esisodwa, kanye eseyintsha ukuphila iyeke ukuba yiyo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amadoda esikhathini zokucindezeleka kunzima ukubona ukugudlisela, balahlekelwa ngokuphelele ikhono lazo ukuba sikujabulele ukuphila.

Ukwelashwa zokucindezeleka besilisa

Yini eyenza indoda ngemva kwesehlukaniso, hhayi iwela ukucindezeleka isikhathi eside futhi ngokushesha ukubuyela ekuphileni okuvamile? Odokotela bengqondo kusho izakhamuzi ngazwi linye egomela ngokuthi akudingekile ukufihla imizwa yabo kwabanye. Indoda inelungelo yosizi, ukuhlupheka nokudumazeka. Akumele ukuzwisa ubuhlungu ngokomzwelo, ezizenza yokunganakwa. Lokhu kuziphatha emzileni oqondile ukucindezeleka.

Kulokhu, kufanele Unganqikazi futhi kufanele ngokushesha ukubhekana kuya zengqondo. imithi yesimanje inikeza izindlela ezihlukahlukene ze-non-izidakamizwa nokwelashwa futhi bacindezeleke sifo ngo amadoda ezinikeza imiphumela kahle e-80% amacala.

Befuna Engxenyeni yesibili

indoda Single ufuna owesifazane nje aphume enkantolo nge isitembu ku iphasiphothi. Futhi lokhu akuyona inganekwane kodwa kuyinto eyenzekayo ezibhekene cishe yonke. Iqiniso liwukuthi kokuba nishadile omelele nengxenye enamandla lesintu fantasizes mayelana nabo kwezocansi eziningi futhi akukho ukuxhumana non-esibophezelayo. Bonke labo bantu sebeqala nokuqalisa ngentshiseko enkulu, kodwa ngokushesha le ndlela yokuphila isidina.

Empeleni, ukuze silondoloze ukuphila oyifunayo ke lidinga umzamo, kodwa umphumela uba yini idlula okulindele njalo. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zithi injabulo ambalwa iza ngaphandle pretty masinyane ngisho ngaphandle foreplay kokukhwehlela ngokomzimba kwenzeka emihlanu - imizuzu eyisishiyagalombili. Kodwa indoda nomlingani entsha akuyona njalo kahle kakhulu - umzimba wakhe ayimiselwe komunye wesifazane, ekuzingeleni ngokocansi kuyabiza ngokwenyama nangokomzwelo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngaphezu zokuxhumana ngokomzimba phakathi kwesibambisene nabo akekho yini enye, futhi ekugcineni iqala bakale izingane zika-Adamu.

Man ngifuna owesifazane ongakwazi ukwanelisa zonke izidingo waso, elwamukela kuphela indaba yesikhathi esifushane. Ngokuvamile buhlanjululwe wobulili namandla futhi wathola uhlobo abesifazane abamane dream womshado. Lezi zintokazi abangalwazi naleli gama, njengoba "psychology babantu." Ngemva kwesehlukaniso, ezingavamile man khulula uzolunga ukushada iminyaka emithathu, ngakho kukhona izimpi ngazimbili entsha.

Singasho ukuthi ngemva kwesehlukaniso, indoda iwela uhlobo isicupho - ke uthola inkululeko, kodwa akanayo isifiso ukuyisebenzisa emva nokudumazeka ambalwa.

Psycho-amadoda

Uma ucabangela inkinga bembuza ngesehlukaniso, ungakhohlwa ukuthi wonke umuntu sibhekene nokulahlekelwa umndeni lusekelwe futhi uhlobo ubuntu bazo. Lokhu isici has nomthelela omkhulu bezibona isimo futhi ukuyinqoba. Odokotela bengqondo bamisa amadoda psycho ngemacembu ezine:

1. Hunter

Lo muntu uhlale ekulungele ukufeza konke afuna. He is ebukekayo, enhle futhi beqiniseka. Hunter yayingazimisele ukwenza vuma umlingani wakhe noma yini nesehlukaniso ibonwa njengoba ukushikashikeka ngenxa ubuholi. Uzama ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze zithole abantu abasha futhi baqhosha wakhe phambi owayeyintombi yakhe, abe ngumkakhe.

2. Deer

Lumuntu emnene kakhulu ngokwemvelo, akanakuma, kepha uyaphela i ngokwabo futhi unenhliziyo omkhulu uhlobo. Ngemva kwesehlukaniso, inyamazane yeduna ngicindezelekile, uya ngokusebenzisa isikhathi eside futhi kanzima ukuze zithole abantu abasha.

3. Umzali

Lolu hlobo amadoda ukulungele ukunakekela nowesifazane imnike uthando lweqiniso. Ubudlelwano njalo eyakhelwe ukwethembana nokuqonda, ngakho uma kwenzeka isehlukaniso, umzali besilisa ihlangabezana ngobuqotho. Uzama ekubalekeleni umphefumulo izinto eziningi, kodwa ungalokothi odlula ebuhlotsheni obusha ne ikhanda.

4. Ingane

Indoda le psycho is ngokuphelele hhayi bazivumelanisa abahlala yedwa. He is sengozini, ngokuvamile abanamakhono futhi ngomusa, kodwa akazi ukuthi ukwenza izinqumo futhi unakekele umuntu. Endabeni yesehlukaniso uyakwazi ukusabisa, amalungiselelo kanye iconsi. Abantu abanjalo bangabaphostoli nzima ukuba uphume ukucindezeleka futhi ngokuvamile zenza imizamo ukuzibulala.

isiphetho

Isehlukaniso - isigaba nzima empilweni yanoma yimuphi umuntu. Futhi musa lihlukanisa abantu nanamuhla ku amadoda ohlukanisile abesifazane, ngenxa yobuhlungu bokushonelwa umndeni Echoes eqinile ngokulinganayo ezinhliziyweni kokubili. Nazi nje show amadoda wakhe kancane ezahlukene.