Kuyini codependency e ubudlelwano? Indlela ukuqeda codependency: Udokotela wengqondo

Abantu abaningi ekuphileni kwabo sibhekene nomqondo codependency e ubudlelwano, futhi musa ngisho bazi ngakho. Le ndoda, owayeshonelwe ukuzimela yabo, e yebhangqa sibuthakathaka, ekuthanda njalo uthi nolaka. Inhliziyo yakhe uyazi ukuthi sincike komunye umuntu, kodwa ingqondo ungibelesela ngokuthi kufanele kube njalo. Abaningi imibhangqwana abazi kanjani ukuqeda codependency ebuhlotsheni. Bona aphikisane, thola abalingani entsha, kodwa ukuphila namanje zinjalo.

Codependency nomndeni

Codependency - esimweni eqinile, omunye angase athi ngisho, isinamathiselo normal komunye umuntu, futhi-ke ongagcini nje ngokuba Izinyunyana romantic. Umama nendodakazi, mfowethu nangokuthi dadewethu, ubaba nezingane kungaba futhi abahlanganyeli ubudlelwane ezinjalo. Ngokwesibonelo, ubaba emhlabeni Kuyakhuthaza indodakazi abasebasha, amehlo akhe ayizingelosi kwamphoqa ukwenza noma kwaneliswa nezifiso zayo. It kuncike indodakazi yakhe, futhi akakwazi ukulwa emuva, futhi yena, yona, njengokuba nazi lokhu, kuqhubeka lokuxhaphaza ke.

Lesi sibonelo uyazicabangela iphethini ukuziphatha codependent uPapa futhi ingane. Indodakazi kuyinto manipulator, futhi, cishe, esikhathini esizayo, lapho umdala ngokwanele, yena uyobheka ukuze athole umfazi, njengoyise. Nanguya lula ukukhohlisa futhi ukuphetha ngokuthi kufanele kube njalo. Ngakho, ukuphila kwakhe kuyoba codependency ekhona ubudlelwano. Indlela ayibulale, intombazane, yebo, akazi, ngoba akunakwenzeka ukuba bacabange ngalokho iyona manipulator.

Kwabanye kungase kubonakale ukuthi kube yinto esemqoka umndeni - kuhle, kodwa, njengoba umthetho, kuba umthwalo osindayo. Abesifazane bavame ukuba sithathe isinyathelo kuqala, kumelwe uyale umyeni wakhe futhi ekugcineni akhononde ukuthi spineless futhi noma yini indoda enekhono.

Codependency - isifo?

Ngempela, odokotela bengqondo abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi iyisifo abanakwethenjwa ngaso sonke isikhathi belashwa. Kukhona izindlela eziningana ezifundisa kanjani ukuqeda codependency ebuhlotsheni imilutha. Ngezindlela eziningi, lezi zindlela kungqubuzane, kodwa zonke iphuzu yokuthi lokhu "isifo" nizalwa ebuntwaneni.

Umsebenzi abazali kuyinto ukukhulisa ingane, amnike imfundo nolwazi, ngawo kuzoqhubeka waze waba mdala. Izingane kumele uzizwe ukuthi bayathandwa futhi waqonda. Iminyaka 6 kodwa iye yakha umbono izwe, okuyinto esikhathini esizayo kunzima ukushintsha. Ukuswelakala kokusebenza ngokuhlanganyela nokuvikeleka kule nkathi yakha esitolo omkhulu izingane izakhiwo, lapho abaziphethe kukho konke ukuphila kwami.

Ngokuvamile, izingane nedolyubili, zikhula engaphephile. Ziyakwazi avaliwe kakhulu futhi bayesaba. Njengoba abadala, bathonywa abanye abantu, futhi kulula kakhulu ukuyisebenzisa. Iningi musa ngisho zazi ukuthi zingabantu ngaphansi kwethonya ezandleni, futhi efanele, angazi kanjani ukuqeda codependency nothando nobudlelwane nabanye.

Indlela ukuqaphela isimo ukuthi uncike omunye umuntu

Into yokuqala ukubheka ukuzihlolisisa nokuhlola ubuhlobo bethu nabantu. Zama ngokwethembeka uphendule imibuzo embalwa:

1. Ingabe umlandu ngokwenzekileko ukwehluleka kwabanye?
2. Awunawo injongo ekuphileni, futhi uma uchitha nje isikhathi sakho ngeze umsebenzi ngokuthenga nangemisebenzi yasendlini?
3. Ingabe unayo nezinye izilawuli zakho abalulekile (lapho uya; kangakanani ukubuya, onibizela)? Futhi uvamise ukuyilawula?
4. Ngisho noma ungafuni ke uzimisele ukusiza umuntu ngokungenabugovu?
5. Ingabe Umuntu shy? Awunalo njalo elula ukuze abuze kusuka umuntu othile owayedlula?
6. Ukhathazekile nokuthi abantu bacabangani ngawe?

Uma okungenani isigamu mibuzo uphendule ngoyebo - wena umuntu codependent. Ungakwazi ukusetshenziswa, futhi uma lowo muntu kumele ngisho sisondela, iyohlala ikhona, ngoba izibambo kahle "ukubona izisulu zabo." Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi ubuhlobo ayesekelana njalo abathintekayo abantu okungenani ababili. Okungukuthi, e-pair ezinjalo, bobabili abalingani bakule isimo, ezingxenyeni alinganayo. Abantu bahlala umshado futhi musa noma ucabange ngalokho bethule codependency ebuhlotsheni. Indlela balahle yalesi simo bese uthole ukuthula, abazi noma. Futhi laba bantu abangenandaba ukuqonda ngokuthi ukuncika omunye umuntu, ukholelwa ekutheni leli ngeke kushintshe.

Ukwesaba ukhuluma ngani izifiso zabo

abantu Codependent kakhulu uvaliwe ngokwabo. Uma uthi nhlá, yebo, abantu kungaba nobudlelwano kakhulu, kungaphela amahora uxoxa funny izindaba, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukutshela okuthile ngabo. Lezi abantu besaba ukukhuluma mayelana izifiso yabo obala. Ziyakwazi kakhulu othanda umdlalo okuthiwa "Guess ngokwami." Ngokwesibonelo, e-etafuleni lokudlela yombuzo: "Ufunani: itiye noma juice" - impendulo kungase kulandelwe: "Yini ufuna, Angikhathali." Lokhu okwashiwo yile ndoda asikisela ukuthi imibuzo kufanele usacabanga futhi ukuqagela izifiso omunye ebuza. Yilokho kanye livela codependency ebuhlotsheni. Indlela ukuqeda zalesi "sifo", lo mbhangqwana akazi, futhi ngenxa yalokho nalo ekuphileni kwakhe konke.

Obsessions, noma umdlalo Thulile

I imibhangqwana codependent ungakwazi ngokuvamile ukuthola isimo ukuthi abalingani ukuzinqumela ngesiwombe sesibili futhi ngokushesha wenqaba kubo. Ake sithi isimo ngezansi.

Umyeni ukhohlwe ukuhalalisela usuku lwakho oluthandayo 8 Mashi. Inkosikazi ngokushesha, ngaphandle kokucela ke, enquma ukuthi wakwenza ngamabomu. Yiqiniso it can, bese ubuza umbuzo, kodwa ingqondo yami enendawo impendulo ngomumo: ". Indoda lokho ngenhloso, ukuze afundise isifundo kimi, kuyoba kudingeke ukuba aphindisele" Khona-ke umfazi uqala usungula uhlelo lwembuyiselo: ". Futhi ngizohamba nabangane bakhe ukuthenga futhi bachitha yonke imali ikhadi lakhe" Umyeni engakholwa ukholelwa ukuthi umkayo nokumosha kakhulu, futhi enquma ukungaqhubeki alethe ekhaya yonke imali.

Leyo amazwi Snowball ubungazishongo kanye nangetento, kutawudzingeka aqondwe ngokungeyikho igcwele iziqephu ezintsha kuze ekwindla kuze imibhangqwana ekhanda. Okuhle kakhulu, lokhu kuyophumela kungamanyala omkhulu, futhi neze - kuzoholela isehlukaniso.

funda ukukhulumela

Uma abantu realize ukuthi they are ebuhlotsheni obunjalo, banalo mbuzo: "? Indlela ukuqeda codependency ebuhlotsheni" Berry Udokotela wengqondo Uaynhold Amathiphu kungaba usizo olukhulu ekuxazululeni le nkinga. Yena nomkakhe, uJenny wahambisana endleleni wenkululeko. Lapho behlangana, isimo ngamunye wabo wayeseke washada ngaphambili, futhi belala ezinye eyeqisayo ngokuphila komkhaya. Incwadi "Liberation kusukela codependency," ebhalwe ezinjalo abalobi emangalisayo njengoba Berry Uaynhold futhi Dzheney Uaynhold uchaza nezindaba codependency nezisombululo zabo.

Isinyathelo sokuqala (futhi ebaluleke kakhulu) e ukususa le nkinga yikhono ukukhuluma ngemizwa yabo nengxenye yayo yesibili. Ayikho ebaluleke kancane ngokukhululeka noma eyokufunda ukulalela kumuntu zakho ozithandayo.

Nasi isibonelo esivelele kanjani ukuqeda codependency othandweni abalobi yale ncwadi. Ngaphambi nje kokuba ama Berry wahlangana uJenny, yena wangcwaba umkakhe uBarbara. Yena khona kakhulu futhi edinga ukusekelwa. unkosikazi okusha akazange aphatheke kabi kuso futhi asekelwe Berry. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi Jenny walalela izindaba mayelana ex-unkosikazi yomkakhe bese wamnika iseluleko sendlela yokubhekana nalokhu inhlekelele. Lalivulwe wakhe, naye ngoba akazange aphatheke kabi kuso.

isixazululo esisheshayo ukuba impi

Kukhona into eyodwa ebaluleke esisiza ukuqeda codependency ebuhlotsheni. Kunoma umndeni ingxabano izimo, futhi akunakugwemeka. Njengoba wonke umuntu uhlukile, wonke umuntu unombono, futhi ngokuvamile ngeke ukufanisa umbono sabalingani. Kubalulekile kakhulu uma kukhona ukungqubuzana Ungafihli igqubu lover wakhe. Uma amazwi akhe ukukulimaza, amtshele ke ngawo lowo mzuzwana. Ungalindi isikhathi esifanele, futhi ungayigcini esifubeni igqubu enhliziyweni yakhe.

Nomthandazo in aid

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi nakho ebuntwaneni kukhona ebuhlungu kuwe, futhi yini eyenza wena uthembele izimo zomkhaya. Zama ukuxazulula inkinga ebuntwaneni nezinye uhhafu yakho. Nakhu esinye isibonelo sendlela ukuqeda codependency ebuhlotsheni abalobi Berry Uaynhold futhi Dzheney Uaynhold. Njengengane eneminyaka engu-umzali Jen abathola okungaphansi ukushisa nomzimba contact. Berry esamsiza wakwazi ukubhekana kangcono nale nkinga: Yangithwala wakhe ezingalweni zakhe futhi stroked isikhathi eside, yena kafushane wabuyela ebuntwaneni futhi salandelwa abazali bakhe. Kufanele ucele omthandayo ukukunika into angeke ukuthola kubazali babo. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuba khulula ngokwakho kusuka izakhiwo eziningi ezihlobene ebuntwaneni.

umlingani Ukushintsha

Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuthi ukuze balahle codependency, kubalulekile ukuba ahlukanise indoda. Nokho, le ndlela akuyona njalo okuhle. Lolu khetho itholakala kuphela uma umlingani ngokuphelele ungafuni ushintshe noma yini ekuphileni kwakhe. Ekugcineni kuyomhambela kanjani kwenzeke izinguquko ezifanayo, uma ophika codependency e ubudlelwano? Kanjani ukuqeda lokho akaboni engawamukeli sina?

Kodwa uma ezinye yakho abalulekile ilungele ukushintsha, ukulungele ukushintsha inkambo komkhuba ukuphila futhi ukuqeda codependency, khona-ke kumelwe nihambe lendlela ndawonye. Izinguquko ayadingeka bobabili abangane bomshado, ukuze yilowo nalowo kubo babezizwa yabo nokwaneliswa futhi babe ngabanye.

Ezithakazelisa kakhulu, mhlawumbe, ebuhlotsheni ayesekelana ukuthi ukungabikho yabo kubangela umuntu isiphepho yokuthonywa imizwelo engakhi. Indlela imilutha yotshwala kudinga isiphuzo, ngakho ekuqaleni abalingani ayesekelana kudingeka ukuxabana, amahlazo. Ngo Psychology eside ukukhishwa kusuka ubuhlobo obunjalo ibizwa ngokuthi komunye nomunye. Ngo-pair of ngamunye abathandi kumele uzizwe ubuqotho bakho futhi nokwaneliswa. Omunye kumele bazi ukuthi uthando lwakhe oluqotho ungubani ngempela. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi abantu ababili kuphela ngempela khulula ingajabula ndawonye futhi bancike komunye nomunye.