Uthando lomfazi ngowesifazane. Uthando phakathi kwabesifazane ababili abahle

Inkinga yokuzibandakanya ngokocansi isicacile kakhulu emphakathini wanamuhla. Uthando lwe-Unisex kuzo zonke izibonakaliso zalo, njengobuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nendoda, nothando lomfazi wesifazane, kubantu abaningi lihlotshaniswa nento engavamile, engalungile futhi engamukeleki. Esikhathini esidlule kwakucatshangwa ukuthi ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa nokufutheka phakathi kwababameli ababili bezocansi ezifanele ukuqondisa ngqo emtholampilo kubantu abagulayo. Ingabe kusabeka kangaka? Kungani abanye besifazane bakhetha ubulili obuqinile bohlobo lwabo? Yini evuselela ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane obunjalo nokuthi kuyini umphumela wothando phakathi kwabesifazane? I-psychology yanamuhla inikeza izimpendulo zale mibuzo.

Izici zokuziphatha zabesifazane

Ngokwezifundo eziningi, abesifazane bazwela futhi banomzwelo kunabesilisa. Imvelo ngokwawo inikeze abesifazane amandla okuthandana nokuzwa imizwa eqinile kubantu, ukudala umndeni nokuzala abantwana. Kodwa-ke, ngaphansi kwethonya lezici eziningi ezibalulekile, izici ze-psyche kanye nezenzo zokuziphatha eziyingxenye enhle yesintu zithinta izinguquko ezinkulu. Ukuphila kwamanje ngezinye izikhathi kubangela abesifazane ukuba bahlanganyele emithwalweni yabo yesilisa, benze umsebenzi okhuni futhi badlale indima engavamile kubo emphakathini. Konke lokhu kushukumisa izinguquko kumlingisi kanye nezimfanelo zomuntu wesilisa othungayo.

Izimbangela

Ubuhlobo bobulili obufanayo phakathi kwabesifazane abahle bangathuthuka ngokwabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi baneminyaka yobudala nobunikazi obudlule bobulili bomuntu. Kunezikhathi lapho, ngaphambi kokuhlangana nomlingani omusha, intombazane yayinothando oluqinile ngokwanele nomuntu, kodwa emva kokukhetha uthando phakathi kwabesifazane.

Ngaphandle kwesenzakalo esingenakuqhathaniswa nesifiso somuntu ofanayo wobulili obufanayo, ukwakhiwa kobudlelwane obunjalo kungadambisa izinto zomphakathi, imfundo, indawo ehlala kuyo, inkulumo-ze ye-LGBT, nokuhlangenwe nakho okubi nommeleli wobulili obuhlukile.

Imizamo yokuthola into entsha

Iningi labantu abahlolwayo ehlukahlukene ekuzileni ngokocansi luthonya isifiso. Isibonelo, abanye basebenzisa izinsizakalo zokuhambisa (ucansi efonini, ukuhleleka "abapristikazi bothando") noma ukuvakashela ekukhulumisaneni nabamele olunye uhlanga. Ngabe-ke umehluko phakathi kwabesifazane, uthando oluvela phakathi kwabo? Konke lokhu kuyilingo olufanayo, indlela eyingqayizivele yokwehlukanisa ukuphila komuntu siqu, okungaqediwe, abantu abakhululekile ukuxazululwa, ngenkathi bekwazi ngokugcwele izenzo zabo nezenzo zabo. Ingxenye yobulili obuhle uzama ukuzizwa ngaleyondlela lokho umuntu akuzwayo, ukuthinta owesifazane, ukunakekelwa nokujabulela ukusondelana naye.

I-propaganda

Iqiniso lokuthi kusanda kusakazwa ku-TV, kanye nasemiphakathini ehlukahlukene ye-intanethi, akuyona nje inkulumo-mbono engaqondile yezobudlelwane besifazane. Izidumi zebhizinisi zokubonisa zibonisa ngokucacile ukuma kwazo ngokobulili, zibonisa ukuthi zifashini futhi zanamuhla, futhi kwamanye amazwe kunemibuthano yezingqapheli ze-LGBT. Ezingqondweni zabantu abakudala abathintekayo lolu hlobo abanomthelela. Ngokuvamile, ngaphansi kwethonya lenkulumo-ze, amantombazane amancane, abasha abanomqondo owehlazekayo. Khona-ke uthando lowesifazane lomunye wesifazane luqala ngaphansi kwethonya lesiphakamiso sangaphandle, emdlalweni wakhe omkhulu emphakathini. Abafundi abasha nabasesikoleni esiphakeme ngokuvamile abaziqapheli ngokwenza izenzo, lolu hlobo lobuhlobo luphela esikhathini esivuthiwe kakhulu - kuze kube yiminyaka engu-20.

Utshwala

Kunezinhlobo eziningi ze-anecdotes kanye nezindaba ezihlekisayo mayelana nokuthi indoda nowesifazane, emva kokuphuza utshwala, bathola kanjani embhedeni owodwa ngakusasa ekuseni. Ngubani othi lokhu akunakwenzeka phakathi kwabesifazane ababili? Isibonelo, laba besifazane bahlangana ukuze babelane ngezinkinga zesiphakamiso somuntu siqu, bahlala ebhayeni, baphuza kahle futhi "baphendule" abambalwa abanobuhlakani obanikezwayo. Kwabe sekuthuthela kahle endlini yezinye zezintombi futhi walala embhedeni owodwa. Kwabe sekufika ukumbumbuluzwa okungenacala, ngemuva kokuqabana nokunye. Ekuseni, bobabili abesifazane bazolahlekelwa futhi bazizwe benamahloni, ngoba ngaphambi kwalokhu akuzange kwenzeke kubo. Uthando lwabesifazane ababili kulesi sigaba luzophela, futhi bobabili abalingani ngeke bawele. Ngokuvamile, ubuhlobo obunjalo bukhula bube yinto engaphezulu. Abacwaningi baye bafakazela ukuthi lesi simo sitholakala ngokuyinhloko nabesifazane abasanda kujwayele, abatholakali nabangane abaseduze.

Isifiso Somuntu

Ukukhathazeka, uthando lomfazi wesifazane lungabangelwa yisifiso somyeni wakhe / umlingani wesilisa ocansini ovamile ukuze azame ama-thirum. Kubonakala sengathi amanye amadoda athokoza kakhulu imidlalo yama-lesbian, futhi abaningi babo bangathanda ukwenza izinto ezinjalo zenzeke. Kuyaqaphela ukuthi abesifazane bayavuma kalula ukuhlolwa okunjalo, hhayi ukumelana namaphupho angavamile. Isisusa sabo ikakhulukazi ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumthandi, umhawu, isifiso nesifiso sokwanelisa umlingani. Kodwa-ke, ubuhlobo obunjalo besikhathi esisodwa bungaba nobuhlobo obusha, lapho umuntu eba yinto engesithathu.

Ukunganeliseki

Ukungabi nokuphila ngokobulili, njengokunganeliseki ngakho, kungabangela uthando olufanayo lobulili obufanayo: 2 abesifazane bazohlanganisa nesifiso sokuthola imizwa enhle kakhulu kusuka ekufundeni. Muva nje, kunezihloko eziningi ezihlukene ezivele zisho ukuthi abesifazane bayazi kangcono ukuthi badinga yini ngokwabo, ngoba uthando lomfazi wesifazane lungenza kuphela amandla anempilo. Ngokuqinisekile, ngokufunda lolu hlobo lwolwazi, intombazane engenelisekile ngobuhlobo obuningi bobulili obuhlukile kanye nokudumazeka ngothando, izothatha isilingo ukuzama izithelo ezivinjelwe. Ngokuvamile lokhu kubangelwa ubudlelwane obude noma ulwazi olungaphumeleli.

Ukwaneliseka kungacasulwa yi-egoism yesilisa, isifiso sokuletha injabulo ngokwengeziwe kunomlingani wakho. Ngakho-ke, le-subconscious yezinsikazi ivula uhlobo lwodonga ngaphambi kobudlelwane nabamele abesilisa abaqine ubulili obuqinile, okubangela ubuntu ukuba bashintshe ngokujulile ukuziphatha kwabo ngokobulili.

Ukwesaba kokukhulelwa

Naphezu kwenhloso yalo yemvelo - ukuthwala nokuzala inzalo - ezinye zezocansi ezihle kakhulu ziyesaba ukukhulelwa kanye neqiniso lokukhulelwa kwengane. Lokhu kubangelela ebuhlotsheni obungokwemvelo - uthando lomfazi ngowesifazane. Ukuqaphela ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukukhulelwa kumuntu ohamba nawe phansi kuzobavumela ukuba baphumule futhi bajabulele ucansi.

Mayelana nothando phakathi kwabesifazane: ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo

Lesi sici sibhekisela kokubili ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, nokungabi nokuqonda kokuyingxenye yemvelo, ukuhlukunyezwa kwengane kanye nentsha. Umndeni yisici esiyinhloko sezenhlalo esithonya ukuthuthukiswa kobuntu. Isimo sengqondo esibi ngokuqondene nentombazane esemncane, ukuhlaselwa kukababa kuyise, ukukhwabanisa kwakhe noma ubudlova bobulili - konke lokhu esikhathini esizayo kuthinta okuthandwa ngumuntu omdala ngokwemigomo yezocansi.

Uthando lomfazi ngowesifazane lungathuthuki nje kuphela ngenxa yokuthi "izimpumputhe" kusukela ebuntwaneni nokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo okwamukelwe ngalesi sikhathi. Okuhlangenwe nakho kobulili bokuqala okungalungile kumuntu, ukuhleka usulu nokuhleka usulu ngabangane bobulili obuhlukile beshiya igebe elingalokothi eligcwele engqondweni yomuntu wesifazane. Kuye, ukuxhumana nomuntu kuba buhlungu, futhi ukusondelana akuyona into engokwemvelo futhi engathandeki. Kulesi sixhumano, owesifazane uqala ukufuna induduzo ebuhlotsheni nommeleli wesilisa ofanayo.

Izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi uthando lwabesifazane ababili, olusekelwe ekuhlukumezweni kwengqondo nokwesaba olutholakale kunoma yisiphi isigaba sokuthuthukiswa komuntu, aluvezi imizwa emihle, kuyinkinga yengqondo edinga ukulungiswa, futhi kwezinye izimo, ukwelashwa.

Owesifazane nentombazane: uthando nocansi. Isimo sengqondo samadoda

Abaningi abameleli besigamu esiphezulu sobuntu bahle ngokuthandana nokuthandana kwabesifazane ababili. Lokhu kubangelwa ukucabanga okungenangqondo, lapho amantombazane ehlanganyela khona emidlalweni yezocansi, futhi lo muntu uyisitatimende esheshayo, futhi ngezinye izikhathi uhlanganyele ekufundiseni.

Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi abantu abanezintandokazi ezifanayo zobulili bangabangani abahle kakhulu, abangane bezimadoda. Kodwa-ke, empeleni, konke kungaba okuhlukile: ngaphezu kokuma okungahambisani nalokho, abesifazane bangaba abalandeli abanomdlandla futhi ngenxa yalokho, abazonda abantu besilisa.

Uthande abesifazane abathandekayo komunye nomunye kungabonwa kabi. Phakathi kwamadoda angawamukeli noma yikuphi ukubonakaliswa kobulili obufanayo, kufaka phakathi abesifazane, kubhekwa ukuthi umuntu kufanele alandele injongo yakhe yasekuqaleni - ukudala umndeni nokuqhubeka komndeni, futhi noma yikuphi ukungafani nemicabango yendalo nemvelo kungukubonakaliswa kokungaqondakali kwengqondo. Imibono efana nayo itholakale nabesifazane abesilisa nabesifazane, kepha abathandekayo besifazane banesifiso sokuzwelana nokuzisola abantu abanezici ezahlukene zobulili.

Inkolo

Cishe zonke izinkolo zomhlaba ezisemthethweni zibhekisela ekuboniseni ubungqingili ukuba kube yisono. Naphezu kokuthembeka komphakathi wanamuhla emazweni aseNtshonalanga kubantu be-LGBT, iningi lamasonto angamaKatolika namaKatolika, kanye namaSulumane, awawamukeli abantu abatshela ngokucacile ukuthanda kwabo ngokocansi ngokuqondene nabantu abanobulili obufanayo. Izisekelo zezenkolo zithi lezi zenzakalo ziwa kusukela ekuqaleni, njengoba uNkulunkulu ekuqaleni ekhulelwe umshado, inyunyana yezinhliziyo zothando zendoda nowesifazane, okudala impilo entsha.

Kodwa-ke, maduze kwamanye amasonto kanye nemiphakathi yamaKatolika kuye kwaba nomkhuba wokwamukela ubungqingili njengokwesekwa okuvulelekile kwezocansi ezincane.

Ubuhlobo phakathi kwabesifazane ababili bubukeka bunjani?

Kukhona umbono wokuthi emkhayeni womndeni wobulili obufanayo bobabili abalingani baziphathe njengabendlukazi abajwayelekile: balungiselela, bahlanzekile, bahlanze, bachithe kusihlwa okuhlangene bebukela ama-melodramas namafilimu othando, ngenkathi bezwela ngamaqhawe amafilimu.

Lokhu akude neze. Emibhangqwana ngayinye yobungqingili, ubudlelwane bwakhiwe ngendlela efanayo njengabashadile abesilisa nabesifazane. Omunye walaba besifazane uthatha isikhundla esinamandla, isilisa, kanti omunye, ngokulandelana, owesifazane. Isibonelo, umlingani onesifiso esinamandla sokuvikela, ukuvikela nokusekela umndeni uzosebenza futhi afeze indima yomyeni wakhe. Owesibini uzokwenza imisebenzi esemqoka yabesifazane: ukulungisa ukudla, ukugcina indlu ihlanzekile.

Umbono wezici zengqondo

Kukholelwa ukuthi uma umuntu ekhululekile nomuntu ofanayo nofana naye, lokhu akudingi ukwelashwa nokunakwa ochwepheshe. Kodwa-ke, uma umuntu ebhekana nokungajabuli, akayeki ukubeka obala ukubandakanyeka kwakhe emncintiswaneni othile wezocansi, futhi ubonisa ngokucacile ubuhlobo bakhe phambi kwabantwana - lezi zibonakaliso zokungaqondakali kwengqondo.

Kumele uqaphele ukuthi ubungqingili besifazane ngokwazo ngokwengqondo yesimanje kanye nokugula kwengqondo akubhekwa njengesifo. Ezimweni eziningi, ukukhanga owesifazane kowesifazane kunqunywa ukuphendula okuvikelayo ebuhlotsheni obunzima namadoda, ukunganeliseki ngobulili, ubudlova. Kodwa futhi kwenzeka ukuthi owesifazane uhlangana nje nendoda efanayo, uthanda yena ngezizathu ezingachazwanga futhi ezingenakuqondakala futhi adala umbhangqwana naye.